The Musical Journey of Grief

First of all I hope that everyone had a very joyful and fun filled long weekend. I have frequently said that no two people grieve alike. I believe that extends to creative ways of expressing our pain of loss as well. After my daughter Jeannine's death in 2003, music was the primary vehicle that I used to express the raw pain of my early grief. It was also my primary means of staying connected to Jeannine after she died. I think that music was a primary form of expression for me because of: 1) my love of it, 2) Jeannine's love of it, 3) the shared memories that we had involving music.  Before I go on, I must tell you that I do not play an instrument and my singing is not pretty on a good day. But I have a deep appreciation for brilliant music and lyrics . During my early grief , a song or even certain lyrics from a song helped me conceptualize how I was feeling and brought me some comfort. Now , during later grief, music continues to provide me with not only comfort, but joy again, particularly when I hear a song that Jeannine and I both loved.

Artists like the Counting Crows, Wallflowers, Tom Petty, Jackson Browne, The Goo Goo Dolls and Jackson Browne have at one time or another been a part of my support community that has allowed me to adjust to the reality of life without the physical presence of Jeannine. Two of the best memories that I have of Jeannine and my life together were at two Goo Goo Dolls concerts.

There are many other creative ways that we can express our grief. I encourage anyone dealing with loss to find that creative outlet that best connects you with your child or loved one. After all it is never about letting go, but always about hanging on.