The Passage of Time

I  discovered this quote from singer/songwriter Jack Johnson, on one of my facebook friend's profile. It reads like this:

" And if they tell you love fades over time,tell them there is no such thing as time. "


Many expectations in our society have revolved around having a set time period for resolving our grief. In six months to a year it was generally expected that one would "be over" their grief and return to life as we knew it. The reality is that any loss we experience permanently changes our world and that there is no set time period to resolve it. For many of us who have experienced losses that have defied the laws of the universe( such as the death of a child), our world is forever changed and we never get over our loss. We  get through it by learning to live with both joy and sadness, while simultaneously making a decision to find meaning again by celebrating our children's lives. In the process we find meaning through service to others.  There is no set time frame. As individuals, we all take different paths to finding meaning as a result of our struggles with loss. We need to be able to unconditionally support every individual's journey and bear witness to it. Also,we can experience the intense pain of loss at anytime during our journeys, depending what is going on with us in the present moment. One, five, ten or twenty years, it doesn't matter. Our grief journeys are circular rather than linear.
The death of my daughter Jeannine has taught me to re-evaluate not only my values but the traditional expectation that time heals all wounds. Time hasn't and won't heal the wounds for me associated with the physical absence of Jeannine. What the passage of time has helped me do is adjust to her physical absence and develop a different kind of relationship with her.  My earthly journey and spiritual relationship will continue to evolve until the day that I cross over.  And then......... it will continue, for eternity.