The older I become, the greater the urge to revisit music from my past. Certain lyrics have triggered thoughts and teachings that have given me clarity during the journey following the death of my 18-year- old daughter Jeannine in 2003. Besides I prefer the music of the 80's and 90's over the majority of what passes for music today.
Welcome to the Real World
Welcome to the real world
there is so much to learn
Lyrics from the song Welcome to the Real World by Mr. Mister
My wife Cheri and I have been trying to downsize as we are currently living alone. In my attempt to contribute to the mission, I have been going through the many compact music discs that I have collected over the years and putting aside some for my youngest son ,Matt .A couple of days ago, I rediscovered a compact disc from 1985 titled Welcome to the Real World by Mr. Mister. It had been one of my favorite Cd's from the 80's, but I hadn't listened to it in a long time. I started listening to it again and rediscovered all of the reasons I liked Mr. Mister in the first place. There was one song in particular that resonated with me ,in the context of my journey as a parent who has experienced the death of a child.
Kyrie Eleison
Kyrie was one of Mr. Mister's most recognizable songs; the full title Kyrie Eleison is Greek for "Lord Have Mercy". I remember reciting this phrase silently and sometimes out loud during Jeannine's illness and after her death. After being drawn to listen to this song numerous times, I decided to explore what asking for mercy meant for me in early grief and what it means to me today. The Free Online Dictionary has many definitions for the word mercy. These are the two that resonated with me: Alleviation of distress; relief and something of good fortune; blessing. In early grief, I routinely asked for relief from the extreme emotional pain and distress that I experienced day in and day out, after Jeannine's death. However, I eventually learned that my pain would become manageable only if I was willing to sit with it, learn from it and be transformed by it. Today when I ask for mercy, it is because I desire to be blessed by the presence of those individuals who are of the highest level of thought and who will witness my continued transformation on the road that I must now travel. I am happy to say that today I am blessed with many people in my support group who have continued to inspire me with their presence and their teachings.
My "Chosen" Road
When I was young I thought of growing old
of what my life would mean to me
would I have followed down my chosen road
or only wished what I could be
Lyrics from the song Kyrie by Mr. Mister
After my 25th birthday, it seemed that the next 33 years of my life were a blur. Certainly, the life that I am living now, is different than the life I envisioned myself living. When I was younger I envisioned myself getting married, having children and a successful career. This was the road I chose for myself and one whose path I thought I could control. Jeannine's death quickly taught me that any control I thought I had was simply an illusion. The universe reminded who was in charge. As a result, a different road has been chosen for me. It is a road that I did not wish for but have now chosen to embrace because of the teachings I have discovered about grief, service, life and death. I also know that this is a road that I do not travel alone. In addition to my earth "soul family", Jeannine is my constant guide and companion from the other side. Together they have contributed to the metamorphosis that I have undergone to this point in time.
The North Shield
I e-mailed this post on 12/18/13 to my good friend Patty Furino, who responded with : "I like it ,but it feels like you left something out." Patty is not only a good friend, but an important member of my "soul family" and witness to my journey. So her input is something that I always strongly consider. After I received Patty's comments, I reviewed my post again but could not immediately figure out what I could have left out. So I decided to leave it alone. I trusted that spirit would guide me in the right direction, when the time was right.
Today( 12/21/13), I woke up and had a strong urge to draw a card from The Sacred Path Cards. The cards accompany the book: Sacred Path Cards: The Discovery of Self Through Native Teachings by Jamie Sams. Letting my intuition be my guide, I drew The North Shield card. On pages 110 and 111, Sams discusses the application of the North Shield to our daily lives. Here are some excerpts:
Some type of wisdom is coming your way, if you have chosen The North Shield card. You are now being asked to show gratitude for these new understandings in order to continue the growth process. The North Shield tells you that you have learned a lesson and derived from it a sense of self that will serve you for the rest of your life. The successful completion of this lesson should be marked by prayers of thanksgiving or acknowledged in gratitude. Remember that the gift of wisdom is in the heart of the recipient and remains alive as long as it is honored as a blessing.
I previously alluded to the metamorphosis that I have undergone in my journey as a result of the teachings that I have discovered, Jeannine's influence and the presence of my earth "soul family". Sams reminds me that the wisdoms or understandings that can arise from any discovered teachings are additional gifts that need to be acknowledged and honored as blessings. So perhaps we can discover mercy in teachings that are revealed to us , and in the process share those teachings with others who are traveling roads that they did not willingly embrace. These shared teachings/wisdoms need to be honored as blessings not only by the messenger but by the recipients who then inspire others with these or other wisdoms they have discovered. Imagine this type of a chain reaction and the impact it will have on our planet; mercy and peace will reign supreme.
The North Shield
I e-mailed this post on 12/18/13 to my good friend Patty Furino, who responded with : "I like it ,but it feels like you left something out." Patty is not only a good friend, but an important member of my "soul family" and witness to my journey. So her input is something that I always strongly consider. After I received Patty's comments, I reviewed my post again but could not immediately figure out what I could have left out. So I decided to leave it alone. I trusted that spirit would guide me in the right direction, when the time was right.
Today( 12/21/13), I woke up and had a strong urge to draw a card from The Sacred Path Cards. The cards accompany the book: Sacred Path Cards: The Discovery of Self Through Native Teachings by Jamie Sams. Letting my intuition be my guide, I drew The North Shield card. On pages 110 and 111, Sams discusses the application of the North Shield to our daily lives. Here are some excerpts:
Some type of wisdom is coming your way, if you have chosen The North Shield card. You are now being asked to show gratitude for these new understandings in order to continue the growth process. The North Shield tells you that you have learned a lesson and derived from it a sense of self that will serve you for the rest of your life. The successful completion of this lesson should be marked by prayers of thanksgiving or acknowledged in gratitude. Remember that the gift of wisdom is in the heart of the recipient and remains alive as long as it is honored as a blessing.
I previously alluded to the metamorphosis that I have undergone in my journey as a result of the teachings that I have discovered, Jeannine's influence and the presence of my earth "soul family". Sams reminds me that the wisdoms or understandings that can arise from any discovered teachings are additional gifts that need to be acknowledged and honored as blessings. So perhaps we can discover mercy in teachings that are revealed to us , and in the process share those teachings with others who are traveling roads that they did not willingly embrace. These shared teachings/wisdoms need to be honored as blessings not only by the messenger but by the recipients who then inspire others with these or other wisdoms they have discovered. Imagine this type of a chain reaction and the impact it will have on our planet; mercy and peace will reign supreme.
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