A Redefined vs. A Better Self

I have often mentioned to others that I have become a redefined person since my daughter Jeannine died , over eight years ago. I don't say I am a better person, because I am reminded about the comment that a bereaved father made to me recently. The comment was: "Why did my daughter have to die for me to become a better person?" I didn't have an answer for that one, and I doubt that I ever will.

It is easy for me  to discuss with others how Jeannine's death has redefined me, because I am no longer the same person that I was when she was alive. I have discovered that relationships with our loved ones are ongoing and that if you are open to it, our deceased children continue to guide us towards a more enlightened path. As a result I have discovered a heightened sense of spirituality, awareness that all things are somehow connected and increased benevolence and love towards others who have experienced unthinkable loss.

I have also become aware that we can learn from everything around us. The Native Americans teach us that there is spirit in everything, the earth, wind , rain and animals.  A great book that discusses the role of animal medicine in our spiritual journeys is "Medicine Cards" by Jamie Sams.In the last several months of my journey, I have tried to be aware of the animals that regularly cross my path. Whenever I see a particular animal with regularity, I consult the  Sams book ,read the teachings associated with that animal, and try to relate them to what is transpiring in my life in the present. More often than not the teaching corresponds to my present reality, and gives me another tool on my lifelong grief journey.

If we commit to walking in awareness in our grief journeys, we can embrace new lessons from places and entities that we never thought possible before we experienced the death of our loved ones. Now granted, there are days where the pain of the physical absence of my daughter Jeannine outweighs any spiritual or practical lessons learned. However,most days now, I take comfort knowing that Jeannine is my guide on my personal journey of redefinition and enlightenment.