Changing Language to Develop Different Perceptions of Self and World.

Accepted Vernacular


During my morning walk today, I was thinking about how our perspectives on life could change if we modified the terminology used to describe our experiences .Creating a culture for change through the use of words to describe our experiences needs to also be accompanied by motivation to change our behavior and how we view the world.I worked in the human services field for 27 years and we used a variety of functional terms used to classify the circumstances of the persons that we served.  I commonly used terms such as "dysfunctional", "suffered from addiction and/or mental illness during my career either during meetings with my clinical supervisor or with those whom I was assigned   to counsel.  At the time, this was the accepted  universal vernacular of the human services field .Much of the terminology used in the human services field, particularly in the context of diagnoses, has labels and stigmas associated with them.We are a product of the messages we receive during our formative years. If we feel inherently negative about ourselves , how our experience is viewed by others using commonly accepted terminology, can accentuate feelings of low self esteem and self-efficacy.  It is easy for an individual who is already feeling negative about him or her self and the world, to easily buy into the stigmas and feel powerless to change the perceptions.
 I also believe that individuals who are not a part of the human service system, but facing life challenges need to be cognizant of how they describe their experiences, as well.  

A New Language


After my walk, I  wrote in my journal some terms and phrases that I came up with to assist ourselves and others to conceptualize life experiences differently. The word or phrase that I came up with is listed followed by the more traditional term that has been more commonly used.

•           Dancing with Dysfunction vs. Living with or Surrounded by Dysfunction:  Living with or being surrounded by dysfunction ,to me, implies that we don't have a choice in shaping our destiny, or that we are permanent victims of circumstance.  Dancing is time-limited and  involves  among other things movement and rhythm. We can  dance with anything for as long as we choose and then move away from it , and in the process find a different rhythm ,while shaping a new reality. There is empowerment in movement; in movement there is hope.

•                Challenges vs Struggle :  It was always common for me to assess an individual with whom I worked as struggling with addiction or struggling with mental illness.I often used the phrase" struggling with grief" when describing my early journey following the death of my 18-year-old daughter Jeannine in 2003.There is a heavy weight or burden that is linked to struggle. When I think of struggle I recall the tale of Sisyphus ,who was  the king of Cornith . He was punished for chronic deceitfulness by being forced  to roll a huge boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this action forever. Struggle is tiring and associated with futility. We can address challenges and use their lessons to define the world we want to live in, during the best of times and during times of transition in our lives. 

•            Feeling Empowered vs. Feeling Powerful : It is easy to feel powerful when discovering insights or truths that help us address the challenges that life brings us.  However, power can be abused and ego-driven when it comes to the relationship with others. As it relates to our own spiritual growth, feeling powerful  can foster a sense of invulnerability and a belief that there is nothing left to learn from others or the world around us.  Empowerment means that we have given ourselves permission to see reality differently,commit to a constant state of learning, and license to acknowledge our shortcomings without fear of judgment. Empowerment allows us to inspire others to seek their own truth. 

  

            As we progress on our life journeys it is important to regularly assess the strategies that are working for us and discard those that were once useful, but don't apply to us in the present. How we view ourselves and others through the words we use needs to be part of that ongoing self -evaluation and a key part of the skills that we develop to embrace the process of transformation.