The Tigger in All of Us

 The Wonderful Things About Tiggers

A good friend of mine sent me a clip of the song "The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers" on April 27th, which would have been my daughter Jeannine's 28th birthday. Jeannine became forever 18 on 3/1/03 as a result of a rare and aggressive form of sarcoma. Jeannine's favorite Disney character was Tigger. Jeannine loved Tigger because he bounced and was the only one. Jeannine certainly bounced and had what seemed to be an endless supply of energy during this lifetime. There were days that I got tired just trying to keep up with her. Jeannine was truly in my eyes the only one of her kind, a passionate ,heartfelt soul who defied conventional wisdom. I am convinced today that Tigger is as much a part of her spiritual identity on the other side. I believe that her Tigger energy is touching all whom she has met  . I know that the Tigger in her continues to redefine me ,teach me,and shape the path that I am on. Jeannine's  earthly life and eternal life continue to teach me that there is no such thing as conventional wisdom and  that there are several ways to go down the path of enlightenment. We may all bounce on that path differently, but our destination remains the same.

 Grief- An Uncomfortable Fit?

Tigger also boasted of a rubber top(in the video clip, he is stretching his ears). Rubber reminds me of the need to reshape our worlds after  our childrens' deaths .  Our life long journeys become more meaningful when we  reshape and stretch the boundaries of  our thinking about life and death, which in turn forces us to challenge beliefs that no longer suit us . It is at times an uncomfortable fit, but a necessary one if we are ever going to learn to live again,while celebrating the lives of our children.

Cuddle Your Grief: It is OK

In the song, Tigger boasts that "Tiggers are cuddly fellows." Throughout our journeys, sometimes we just need a hug or a reassuring touch or nod to let us know that there is hope and that we can transcend the most painful of tragedies. Sometimes others need the same from us. Actions of love  many times speak louder than words. Cuddling is a powerful form of presence  in our time of need and a powerful gesture of unconditional love. Whether you are the recipient or the giver , embrace  and celebrate that cuddling part of Tigger in your journey.

Tigger's Gifts

I like to think that our children were and are all Tiggers in their own way. Each of our children have unique gifts and an energy that positively and permanently affected anyone who had the privilege to bear witness to it. It is that energy that drives us as parents to make sure that they are always remembered and that their legacy lives on long after we cross over.   Celebrate the Tigger in your children and let their unique gifts, energy and talents continue to guide you on your journey. Maybe in the process, you will become a Tigger too.

The Naked Walk of Grief

  I have had several dreams since my daughter Jeannine died in March of 2003.  Through further exploration with a dear friend of mine whose passion is projective dream work , I have discovered that the lessons revealed have always been relevant to my journey.

                           My Journey Exposed                                

 With that, I want to share with you all a dream that I had last evening. I was walking down an unnamed street which was near my place of work. It appeared to be first light; but I believe I was walking at either 2 or 2:30am.  That was the time frame that came to me after I awoke. In addition, I was walking naked. I recall feeling panicked, not because I was naked, but because I was lost and didn't know how to find my way back. There was no one behind or ahead of me; I walked alone. After some trial  and error,I did eventually find my place of work.

Black and Elderly

Once I got back to work(still naked), I walked back to my office and saw an elderly black gentleman sitting at my desk. When he made eye contact I abruptly moved away. I then proceeded to go to another part of the building where I saw my immediate supervisor providing assistance to an elderly woman who had been attacked by her husband, whom I deduced had a form of dementia. Though groggy, she appeared to have recovered from the attack. At that point my dream ended.

Breathe

Before I went to work this morning, I was drawn to look at my CD collection and pulled out "Wreck of the Day" by Anna Nalick. I pulled out this CD specifically for one song called "Breathe(2am)." I discovered this song several years ago after watching the movie "Griffin And Phoenix." I played the song as I was going to work and got chills when I heard this one lyrical passage:

"2 am and I'm still awake writing a song

If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me,

threatening the life that it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd cause these words are my diary screaming out loud."

My Truths Revealed

The chills  were due, I believe, to the synchronicity that I experienced with the lyrics of this song and my experience in dream time. The title of the song and the lyric alluded to 2am, the time that I sensed that I was walking in my dream . I was also naked in front of several people at work.  I will definitely explore the symbolism of my dream with my friend at some point. But I want to share with you my impressions of the truths that my dream was trying to reveal about our grief journeys:

• There are many times that we will feel lost and disoriented on our journeys. If we keep moving and have faith, we will eventually find our way again after the death of our loved ones.
• We all have stories inside of us to tell. Once we get those stories of our loved ones outside of us, whether on paper or otherwise, it not only helps us it helps others. Our spiritual lives are not threatened when we celebrate our ongoing connections to our deceased loved ones. if anything, sharing our stories enhances our connectedness with others, ourselves and the universe.
• The death of our loved ones strip us naked of our existing beliefs which are then replaced with others that help us adjust to our new reality.
• The elderly woman who survived the attack from her husband in my dream reminds us that we may feel battered and bruised many times throughout our grief journeys, but that we can also develop resiliency as a result of the challenges we face.
• The significance of the elderly black gentleman is unclear to me at this time. But  as I have discovered we don't always make instantaneous connections to events that transpire on our grief journeys. In time ,those connections will become apparent. When we make those connections, enlightenment follows.