Peace In My Time

As I rapidly approach Jeannine's eighth angelversary date( 3/1) I find myself being more at peace with her physical absence. Don't get me wrong, there are days when the pain of her absence is and will be as intense as it was in my early grief, but overall I have felt less emotional turmoil than in past years. I think that in addition to being able to better manage the emotional roller coaster of my grief, I have developed a greater level of understanding about the wondrous  spiritual relationship that I enjoy with Jeannine, that is ongoing and dynamic. I always felt that my relationship with Jeannine was ongoing, but the past few months have taken my understanding to a whole new level. And for that I am grateful.

I am also grateful for the number of wonderful people who have graced me with their presence on my journey. I have also discovered that the support network I have during my eighth year of my journey is different than it was in the beginning. Many of the people who offered their support in the beginning are not a part of my current support network now. In my early grief, I would have lamented about their absence. Today, I realize that they were just as important to my adjustment to life without the physical presence of Jeannine. I have come to believe that the connections that I made with them were destined to be for a short period of time. It is unrealistic to believe that our support network will ever stay the same. What is important to me is that we continue to recognize the need for ongoing support and utilize those individuals who can best support us in our journeys, at the present time.  We may make lifetime connections or not, but any quality support we can avail ourselves of is all good.

May your days be peaceful and fulfilling.

" Change 'll happen whether we are still or moving" -From the song "Little Heaven" by Toad the Wet Sprocket"

Warren Zevon

Warren Zevon was a brilliant American songwriter and musician who made many brilliant recordings during his lifetime. He was diagnosed in 2002 with inoperable mesothelioma and died in September of 2003. He refused treatments that he thought would interfere with the quality of his remaining life and decided instead to use the time left to record his final album ,The Wind.  A true work of art, this recording contains a stunning cover of Bob Dylan's ,Knocking on Heaven's Door and a hauntingly beautiful song called Keep Me in Your Heart.  Whenever I hear the latter song, it reminds me of both the importance of remembering and staying connected to our loved ones who have crossed over. The Wind was one of the first Cd's that I purchased after my daughter Jeannine died in 2003.  I admire Zevon for using the knowledge of his impending death to make perhaps his most significant contribution to the American music scene.

One of the most important lessons that can be learned from Warren Zevon's life is how he chose to handle his impending death. Rather than run away from it, he embraced it as an opportunity to make one last recording whose message will resonate with many generations to come.