Let it Be

 During my journey after Jeannine's death, I have discovered that the people who have graced my life, more often than not have found me ,more than I have found them. The opportunities that I have had to be of service to others has pretty much developed in the same fashion.

What does this all mean? Does it mean that if we put no effort into bettering our situation that good fortune will automatically grace us with its presence?  What it means to me is that our ability to make the most out of the present moment, allows us to develop the faith and trust in the universe to meet our spiritual and emotional needs.Trust that the universe knows what we need and will help us fulfill or redefine those needs in time.  My ability to develop faith and trust in a divine plan greater than mine has allowed me to develop more peace, joy and purpose amidst sadness, in a world lacking the physical presence of my daughter Jeannine.

There are days where I do struggle with staying in the present because of the emotional roller coaster that is a part of our journeys as bereaved parents.  But I find now that I am usually able to manage those days better and not beat myself up for having them. Progress made on this journey is never progress lost.


I wish you all the best wishes for a wondrous New Year filled with joy and self-discovery.

The New Year

I want to wish everyone a joyous and peaceful New Year. I am thankful that 2010 ended with my family being safe and healthy. As I get older and due to my experience as a bereaved parent, the material things associated with the holiday have no meaning for me. What I value now is the connections that I make with others.

Wishing you all peace.

Dave

The Cab Ride

 First of all I hope you all are having a peaceful and joyous holiday season. I was sent a link to this story by Kent Nerburn called "The Cab Ride." Nerburn's story is a very moving account of the powerful effect of an unsolicited act of kindness .
I have listed the link below.
Take care 




http://www.uuwestport.org/Readings/cab.html

The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting

Hi everyone:
This coming Sunday , The Compassionate Friends will have its worldwide candle lighting event. Candles are lit at 7pm local time. This event unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. I would encourage you to find a candle lighting ceremony in your area. They are beautiful, poignant experiences. If you can't get to a ceremony please light a candle in honor of your child or a child who has touched your life. Lighting a candle will . Please help to ensure that the memories of our children will live on.

I wish you all peace.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

First I want to wish everyone a blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving holiday. For the newly bereaved , please understand that the emotions of grief can be more intensified during the holiday season and that this is a normal part of our journeys.  As you progress in your journeys it is my hope that you acquire the support and tools necessary to help you adjust to the physical absence of your loved ones. In the seven plus years since Jeannine's death I have learned to adjust better to the ups and downs of the holidays by reaching out to others and focusing on the present moment. I have also come to believe that Jeannine is not only my beautiful daughter, but my beautiful spiritual partner in my journey as well. That has also helped me adjust better to her physical absence. It is my hope for the newly bereaved, that you will learn to adjust to your new reality and find joy and meaning amidst sadness.

All things connected

I had a very inspirational and spiritual weekend with friends in Long Island last weekend. I have been on a spiritual journey ever since my daughter Jeannine died in 2003. I have undergone a spiritual transformation where I believe that relationships do not end because our loved ones have died and that all things are connected. I have come to recently discover that events that occurred during my early grief journey are connected to events that occur in the present moment for me. I recently discovered the strengths of those connections during my recent trip and that love does reign eternal.

Random Thoughts About Grief

Hi everyone:
This post is excerpted from a book which I co-authored with Linda Findlay of Mourning Discoveries on navigating through grief during the holidays. You can find more information on our book at www.mourningdiscoveries.com or at www.bootsyandangel.com  Here it is:


1. You can't control when grief hits you, no matter how hard you try.
2. Everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own way.
3. Our deceased loved ones are always with us ,and we can still have relationships with them.
4. Time doesn't always heal, but gives us an opportunity to adjust to a new reality.
5. In time, you will have more good days than bad.
6. Do not underestimate the power of a really good support network.
7. Grief may make you feel crazy, but it doesn't mean you are crazy.
8. The grief journey is never linear, but it is always circular.